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Expectations: Residential Investigations vs Paid for Haunted Locations

Updated: Jan 6

I was contacted by a fretting client today. As we arranged the upcoming investigation of both her home and her father's home, she regrettably told me "don't forget to bring your N95 masks" as her father's basement is more or less hazardous to one's respiratory health; she should know, she's a nurse.


I comforted her by telling her that at the last investigation I attended, I was stepping over large piles of broken glass, animal feces and, no lie, dead bird carcasses - plural! I'll tell you just a bit about THAT miserable location: the stairwell handrails were literally covered in bird feces and the air was completely noxious. How that passed as acceptable as a location that my colleagues actually had paid to investigate (with me as their guest) is beyond me. I wish investigators would demand locations provide a modicum of safety.

If you are paying for the privilege of investigating, I think some bare minimum standards should be seen to - and pigs will fly, because prior to walking in the door, you have to sign a legal waiver forfeiting your right to breathe or have an expectation of a floor being under foot.

The rationale is likely that a clear safe path from point A to B might ruin the desired ambience of dilapidation and mystery. I mean really, isn't creepy more fun if you are stepping over the desiccated skeletal remains of vermin?

Brass Tacks for Client Investigations:

If you and your team are voluntarily investigating someone's private residence, you should expect it to be how the residents or property managers keep it - good, bad or otherwise.

We are guests in our client's home. We are being granted privileged access and we respect that. So we will come armed with our respiratory masks, hiking boots and rugged clothing, and will boldly walk through any conditions to discover what is haunting that location.

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